Pioneer Day Weekend

My family has an app we use to keep in touch, called Cluster. It is kind of like Instagram, but for just a group. On the 24^th of July my family posted a bunch of pictures about their hiking and camping adventures as a whole group (minus Derrick and Mary). Luckily, we had already decided to take our camping gear out for a spin, so we didn’t feel too left out. For our wedding, my mom’s old roommates and a few others gave us some camping essentials: tent, sleeping bag, chairs, tarp, and lantern. We also got an air mattress (which we have been using as a bed since coming to California), but we weren’t sure it would fit in the tent so we didn’t take it this trip (we will next time). We got a little bit of a late start and didn’t realize we had to get the permit in town before we got there and had to go back and get it. So it was already dark (about 9:00pm) by the time we got unpacked. Kyle lit the fire, we set up the tent, and then ate our dinner. Then we just spent some time enjoying the peace and quiet before we went to bed. The hard ground was not my friend that night, so I woke up a few times pretty sore.

He's pretty cute

Turns out our sleeping bag came with pillows. Pretty sweet!

The next morning we headed down to Paul and Tricia Gaye’s house to shower and then went into LA to go to the temple with them. It has been a while since I did a session, so I was really glad I got to do that again. And the LA temple is simply beautiful! (Fun tidbit: I have become quite the expert at pinning on boutonnieres. One of the brides at the LA temple paled at the thought of pinning on her new husband’s before they went outside, so I ran up and did it for her.)

After the session we changed and then headed down to Marina Del Rey to The Cheesecake Factory for lunch/dinner. I had never actually been there; the food is sooooo good (I found a recipe for what Kyle had and am totally going to make it because it was that good). And the restaurant is right on the marina so it was a nice environment.

Tricia Gaye, Paul, Me, and Kyle

We went home earlier that night so we could be well rested for church the next day. We have only gone to our own ward a few times and thought it would be a good idea to do so. We also got to have dinner with another one of the interns at Kyle’s company and his wife. They are both really nice and it is nice to have some friendly faces around.

Adeline Rebecca

There are few moments that I can point as being so profound as watching my two sisters become mothers. I was blown away when I was there when Alicia had Will almost two years ago. In March I got to be there for when Shannon had little Adeline. 

The night Kyle and I took our engagements, we spent the night at my parents' house. Good thing too because it made the trip to Salt Lake at 7 in the morning (March 21st) much shorter. We picked Alicia up from work and the two of us headed to the hospital. When we got there, Jeff was doing an incredible job supporting his wife through her contractions. We felt quite unnecessary a lot of the time. Shan had been in labor for quite some time so she was pretty exhausted. My mom and Jeff's mom both came up during the course of the day. Shannon did most of the labor naturally, but when she realized she wasn't going to have the energy to push because she had so little sleep, she opted for an epidural so she could take a nap. Best decision she made. It made the rest of the day so much better for her.

Addy's two grandmas. I adore this picture!

I love Jeff's face in this one!

Me and Addy

Leesh and Addy

When it came time to push Shannon showed just how much of a rock star she is. It was amazing! Everyone in the room felt so strongly just how incredible the moment was and I think the only dry eyes in the room belonged to the doctor and nurse. 

Little Adeline has such a great spirit about her. You can tell already that she is strong and feisty. She has some bad acid reflux, so she has her very difficult moments. But her smile can light up anyone's day.

On June 7th Jeff gave her a name and a blessing in Sacrament meeting. We had a small luncheon with family beforehand and took some pictures. It was a beautiful day! 

I truly believe I have the best family in the world!

Temple

In September, I went and met with my bishop to discuss me going through the temple. Over the next couple of months, we met together often and discussed the reading assignments he had given me. Then I met with the Stake President before returning to meet with my bishop and a member of the Stake Presidency to get my recommend. 

I had considered going through many times, but had never felt like it was right. The end of the summer the idea kept coming into my head though. So I decided to act on it. I'm so glad I did. I know this was the right time for me. 

On December 20, 2014, I got to go through the Bountiful Temple with my parents, all my siblings and in-laws, my Aunt Marie, and one of my best friends, Ryan, there to support me. 

Peter and Alicia, Mandi and Nate, Mom, Me, and Dad,
Amy and Spencer, Derrick and Mary, Shannon and Jeff

I wish there was a way for me to describe how incredible that experience was for me. As with many things though, trying to really describe it would be impossible; things of the heart are often this way. I don't ever want to forget how beautiful it was though. I started crying quite early on in the afternoon and continued to do so many times. The peace and love I felt for my Savior and Heavenly Father during my time there was incredible. And walking into the celestial room and seeing my family there was a feeling that I will never forget. I was so overcome with the enormity of the moment. I was finally where I had longed to be for so long, and I was with the most important people in my life.

I'm so lucky to have such an incredible family and support system. They are amazing examples to me. Through the interview process, I was asked many times about my family. It was extraordinary to me that I could say that my parents, all of my siblings, and all of my in-laws were endowed and still worthy to enter the temple with me on my special day. I have learned so much from them of how I should be and I hope that I can be as good as they are.

I know it is unusual for girls to go through the temple before they go on a mission or get married. It's becoming less unusual, but it still isn't common. But for me, I know this was the right way to do it. My decision to go through wasn't tied to anything else. Other people can have those decisions combined, but for me I needed to know that I was doing it because I sincerely wanted to and was prepared to, not as a step to something else immediate. That was important to me, and I'm so grateful I could go to the temple knowing I was fully prepared and that it was the right thing for me to do.

I'm so grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Knowledge of the Gospel has changed my life, it has shaped who I am and I know that I am better because of it. I'm grateful for Jesus Christ and his service as my Savior. I know He lives and will always be there to help me. I am grateful for temples, the covenants I made there, and for the chance I have to spend eternity with my family. 

Power to Transform

Over the past year or so there has been a lot of attention on The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the controversy surrounding the Priesthood. When these discussions come up, the thing that keeps coming to my mind is simply how grateful I am for the Priesthood. I think it is important here to clarify that I mean I am grateful for the power of God on the earth, not the men who hold that power (although that is true too).

The older I get and the more men I meet and date, the more I see the importance of the transforming power of the Priesthood. The majority of the boys I have dated are, well to put it simply, goofy. They like nothing more than to have fun and they make me laugh. A lot. Their ability to be lighthearted and make everything into an adventure was one of the things that I liked most about them. In the end, though, it wasn't what impressed me.

What impressed me about most of them is the transformation that took place each and every time they were asked to do something that fell within the realm of Priesthood responsibilities. Don't get me wrong, they were wonderful people even when they weren't called upon to fulfill a responsibility of that sort. The deep understanding they had of the privilege and responsibility it was to act in behalf of God and under His specific direction transformed them. These goofy boys were also dedicated, hard working, and respectful of the task at hand, whether it was teaching a lesson or giving a talk in Church, discussing Church doctrines, administering Priesthood blessings, administering the Sacrament, doing their home teaching, taking care of their families, or going to school or work.

The times when they were actively using the Priesthood power and fulfilling their responsibilities were the times when they most clearly had an eternal perspective. In a world full of distractions competing for their attention, they understood (although briefly sometimes) what was truly important.

This transforming power doesn't just work on the men who hold the Priesthood, though. I have seen that same transformation occur as people of all types change as they take part in sacred Priesthood ordinances. Baptism, partaking of the Sacrament, work in the temples, magnifying callings in the Church. All of those things transform everyone and while some specific responsibilities are asked of only one gender or the other, all of them are actions that all members of the Church can take part in as long as they are worthy.

With all of this madness and controversy, I think one of the most important things to focus on is simply that we have the power of God on this earth and have such incredible access to it.

Random Connection

"It is a curious thing, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those who have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well."

-Dumbledore

"We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion. Hence many are called, but few are chosen."

-Doctrine and Covenants 121:39-40

For Now

The past couple of weeks there has been something different in the air. With the lowering of the ages when missionaries can go out, an extremely large number of girls have decided to go on a mission. One of my professors is a bishop and he had 14 pre-mission appointments set up by the Monday morning after Conference alone. That's a lot of girls.

I turn 21 in April, so I had already decided that the biggest question for me during October's General Conference was whether or not I was going to go on a mission.

Notice I said whether or not I was going to go, not whether or not I should go.

I discovered a long time ago that, for the most part, revelation doesn't work with a "should I", at least not for me. In fact, I have never even had God tell me yes or no to a decision I've made. He either stops me or he doesn't. So I knew that this, like everything else, was my decision.

When President Monson announced the new age for missionaries, my first thought was not of myself but of my old roommate, Karen, who is 19 and has said repeatedly that she wished she could just go on her mission now because she wanted to so badly.

My second thought was the interpretation of my first: I didn't want to go on a mission enough to even be excited for myself that I could go in December/January instead of April/May. I was more excited Karen could go than that I could. 

So, my answer to the thousands of queries over the past weeks of whether or not I'm going on a mission have been "It's not currently in my plan." I'm fully aware that I could change my mind tomorrow, a week, month, or even year from now. And that's okay. But for now, I have my answer.

I don't believe that God would say no if I told Him I wanted to go now. But I couldn't in good conscience do that. I'm afraid that at this point, I would choose to go in order to escape and put off big life decisions and changes. And that is not an acceptable reason to go for me. If I go, I want it to be because I really want to, more than anything. As my roommate put it, "It is a lowering of the age limit, but not of the bar." I'm not saying I would be a bad or unworthy missionary. But I know myself well enough to know that if I don't want something with everything I am, I won't work as hard at/for it. And a mission is not something that I would ever want to do halfway, and I wouldn't successful like that anyway.

The Lord needs more missionaries out there, but He also needs the right missionaries out there, at the time He appoints. Perhaps my time will come, or perhaps my calling in life has nothing to do with me serving a full-time mission. Either way, I know that God is in control and will guide me to what is right for me, not anyone else.

***This post is mostly for me and my own need to express my feelings. The past couple weeks have been rough with a lot of people making me feel guilty and like I wasn't a good member of the church because I am not going on a mission right now. So I wrote this to understand what I am actually feeling.***

Families

I've been reading in Ether for the past couple of weeks.  I've read it through multiple times and have to admit, most of the time it is not my favorite book.  Once you're done with the cool Brother of Jared story, there is a lot about wars and destruction which is, quite frankly, a little gruesome.  This time though, I discovered something that I'd never thought of before now.

Starting in chapter seven and going through the rest of the book there is story after story of the people dividing and one half taking over, then the other half rebelling and taking over.  It's a common story and theme throughout history.  What I hadn't picked up on before was who was doing the conquering and rebelling.  The majority of the time, it was a brother, son, uncle, or nephew of the king who lead the rebellion against that king.  Unlike countless stories in antiquity, such as the conquests of Alexander the Great, the destruction of this people did not come from some outside, foreign nation.  The destruction came from the dissolution of family ties.

Since 1997 when the First Presidency came out with "The Family: A Proclamation to the World", the Church has been continuously placing emphasis on the importance of keeping the family together.  Soon after that, the line "strengthen home and family" was added to the young women theme as a blessing that comes from cultivating the values outlined in the theme. Despite the fact that I have heard time and time again the importance of keeping the family unit together, I don't think I understood it until now.

My family has recently revived a tradition we had with my dad and his brothers in an attempt to keep our family together. Under the motto: "They Did Not Doubt", we have instituted a monthly family home evening with all of our extended family.

I was called at the beginning of the semester to be co-coordinator of the Family Home Evening groups in my ward here in Provo. As I have become more and more involved with it and gained more of a testimony of FHE I feel I have come to a greater understanding of the importance of families.

The combination of all of these things right now has also provided me with inspiration that I had been long in seeking. Now I think I can see how I can prevent the dissolution of not just my own family, but many others and thus, help prevent the horrific events that occurred in Ether. Finally, I have a plan. And I can hardly wait to get started on it.

Success

I went home this weekend so that I could go and see Alicia's primary program, even though she didn't believe me when I said that was the reason I came home.

I've been to a lot of primary programs in my time.  They're always cute and fun.  But never before have I been touched in the way I was today.  The difference was that Alicia had the kids write their own parts.  Sure she gave them a topic or a sentence to finish, but the kids decided what to say.  So for the first time, it actually sounded like something they would say.

It was beautiful to hear the simplicity of understanding of the sunbeams alongside the experienced testimonies of the oldest kids, with every other level of knowledge and understanding in between.  It was pure, honest, and completely not contrived.

I seriously had tears in my eyes almost the entire time (and only a couple times because I was laughing so hard).  I am just so grateful that can be understood on so many different levels.  There is always more to learn, but knowledge of everything is required right now.  Sometimes all you need to know is that sharing your toys with your cousins is choosing the right and will make your mom happy.

So Leesh, if you had any doubts if you were inspired, you definitely were.  Even if no one else was moved (which I know isn't the case), I was.  It was beautiful and a complete success!  You're amazing and I love you, Alicia!

Leaving

I'm moving out on Thursday.  And for the first time since I came to college, I'm really sad to be leaving this place.  

We ended up here the first time because of Shannon.  After Sam, Shannon, and Kate had signed somewhere else, Shan felt sick about it and insisted it wasn't right.  So we all signed here instead.  I was fine with that because I didn't care where we lived.  After the first few weeks here, I didn't think that decision was 100% inspired.

The ward was full of people who were a lot older than me, many of whom didn't really put in an effort to know me once they found out I was 18.  It was a tough ward for a freshman.  I was doing everything in my power to just figure this college thing out, and no one else could really relate to that.  That being said, I didn't hate all of it.  I loved Ryan and his apartment from the start.  Eric, Brandon, and Parker always knew just what to say to make me laugh.  And the people in my FHE groups were awesome!  But none of this had me convinced to come back.

Kate did though.  She wanted to come back and I wanted to live with her.  So we signed for Fall/Winter again.

After living in another ward for the Summer, I was dying to move back.  The first week back in this ward did not disappoint.  The warmth, the unity, the acceptance, the openness, it was all there again and even more so.

So I've changed my mind.  The decision to move here was 100% inspired.  This was where I needed to be.  These are the people I needed to be in my life.  I needed the Sorensens, Fraleys and Christensens.  I needed Lexi, Carmen, Leigh, Traci, Holly, Maddie, Kelsi, Beth, Brittany, Danielle, Catherine, Lexi, Katie, Ashley, Sarah, Emma, Heidi, Tina, Erika, Annie, MeLisa, Alex, Craig, Ryan, Wes, Eric, Spencer, Pappy, Dustin, Kevin, Joe, Greg, Mike, Steve, Ben, Paul, Jeff, Dallin, Phil, Stephen, Will, and Brock, just to name a few.

Annie

Dallin, Jeff, Greg, and Kelsi

Did I mention we have the world's most awesome Bishop?!

Jeff, Phil, and Baby Titus

Greg and Me

MeLisa and Beth

Pappy

Sarah and Erika

Sorensen Boys

Bishop and Sister Sorensen

Traci

Eric

Katie, Maddie, Tayler

Leigh

Wes and Ryan

I needed them to help me become better.  I needed them to teach me to reach out.  I needed them to help me be comfortable showing others who I am.  Last year, I was shy and introverted.  No one knew me very well, if at all.  Now, almost everyone knows me, at least a little.  And because of that, I feel like I can be myself more.  I feel like I am capable of accomplishing more and being more of a help to those around me.

Now, moving and the thought of starting over terrifies me.  I don't want to go back to who I was before.  I want to retain the things that I've learned from these wonderful, loving people.  I'm not sure if I quite know how though.  I know I will meet fantastic people and I know it's time for me to move on.  But it's hard to feel that anything could be better than this right now.

All of this has made me determined to make the best of every experience, to act on each place I live as for years.  I didn't want to get to know everyone because I figured I would never see them again, so what did it matter.  Well, it mattered.  And I'm grateful for that.  I'm grateful I finally got over my stubbornness and let myself fall in love with the wonderful ward I was in and to learn so much from everyone around me.

Last night was the last ward prayer of the semester.  Ryan and I did it since it was the last one.  As the thought, I shared some of the things I said here.  And I closed with a scripture that I felt summed it up so well:

"I am mindful of you always in my prayers, continually praying unto God the Father in the name of his Holy Child, Jesus, that he, through his infinite goodness and grace, will keep you through the endurance of faith on his name to the end."

-Moroni 8:3

My goal as I continue through life is to build friendships so that I always feel this way when I leave someone.  As sad as it is to leave people, the love you feel is always worth it!

Talent Show

Saturday night was our ward talent show...finally.  This thing took SO much more planning than I thought it would and was extremely stressful.  From the stage being small, to too many people signing up, to people going back and forth between whether or not to perform until literally right before, to figuring out the MCing, it was sort of a nightmare.  

Luckily it turned out okay and only a few people really saw and understood my full frustration.

Basically I have awesome roommates who are always more than willing to save the day.  

Anne was great about listening to my problems and helping me solve them.

Jess made the perfect MC.  And she was very helpful in picking out some eligible bachelors for us to use.

And Erin is just always so willing to help.

I really didn't want it to turn into a music show and I didn't want the same people who always perform to be the only ones in it.  So I sort of hand picked the acts.  We had a few songs, but also a few skits, dances, and comedy acts each.  And we had an art show set up downstairs, featuring the art and photography of ward members.  That part was really cool!

We only got a couple of videos of the acts, but trust me, they are worth watching!

Background Story:  In our ward, we have "The Chalice of Destiny".  Basically, about once a month we have a ward date and anyone can put their names in the Chalice or put anyone else's name in and the people in charge set everyone up on dates.  So when they mention the Chalice, that is what they mean.

Background Story:  Right after I got called to be Activities Co-Chair, I was talking to my friend Mike at Ward Prayer.  We were talking about how boys had it better when it got cold because they didn't have to wear skirts.  And he said that tights are helpful though.  Naturally I asked why he knew that and he admitted to having worn tights before.  Turns out they had done a Christmas ballet dance for the talent show in their last ward in December.  Forgetting that I actually had the power to do so, Mike said they would do another dance if we did a talent show, in March so that they could do an Irish one and the green tights wouldn't go to waste.

Needless to say, I didn't let him forget.  Apparently all but Mike and his roommate Ben were super into doing it again.  It took some persuasive skills, both on my part and the other boys in the dance, but they agreed to do it.  Mike put it best when he said, "The thing is, we have too much pride not to make it good if we do it."

Thank goodness for pride, otherwise our final act would not have been quite so great!

Overall, it turned out pretty good.  I had a few people ask me why I didn't perform.  My answer:  My talent was organizing it and convincing the boys who danced and those helping with the MCing to do it.

If there's one thing I've learned it is this:  Flirting is a useful persuasive skill.

Time for Church

For a time when I was growing up, the Single's Ward met in our building for church.  They always had church at 11:00.  It was quite annoying.  My dad used to say that it is because "apparently the Church isn't true for them if it doesn't start at 11."

Well, after attending Sacrament Meeting last Sunday in my homeward, with all of my nieces and nephews, I have to say that if small thing could make me think the Church wasn't true, 1:00 church with little kids just might be it.  (I'm kidding of course.  My beliefs won't change that easily.)  But seriously, it was insane!

My parents with the grandkids (from left to right): Max, Lyla, Abby, and Daxton
They love their grandparents!

Don't get me wrong, I love my nieces and nephews.  And seriously, who wouldn't?  I mean, look how cute they are!  Interrupting their naps and still asking them to be quite and sit fairly still for an hour is just not a good idea though.  I think the best moments were the ones when Daxton was climbing over the bench to get to Grandma and away from Dad.  At least, I think that is what the families sitting behind us thought.

Oh well.  If we weren't able to control the kids, at least others in the ward got some entertainment out of it, right?

Activities

I have to admit, when the Church got rid of Activities Committees, I was ridiculously happy that I would never have to be on one...Too bad they still exist in Young Single Adult wards.  Something about the socializing at activities being one of the most important things about being in a YSA ward.  Anyway, I was called in November to be Activities Co-Chair.  Rather unfortunate.  The good thing is that my Co-Chair is one of my best friends in the ward.  Seriously, people thought we had bribed the Bishop.  The bad thing is that I was immediately put in charge of an activity someone else had come up with, but never planned anything for...the ward Thanksgiving Dinner.  

Now, do I know how to figure out how much food is necessary to feed a ward?  Not even close.  And to make it worse, we are never sure how many people will actually come.  So, after about two weeks of debating, we decided to make three turkeys, about 25 lbs. each.  And since I was in charge of the activity, I got to make one of them.  How hard could it be, right?  

Our First (and Last) Turkey

See, what no one tells you is that cooking a turkey is disgusting!  Now, I am not the biggest fan of meat to begin with, but this was worse than I had imagined.  Between taking out the nasty insides, stuffing, cooking, and carving the turkey, I couldn't even eat any of it.  I ended up only eating a tiny bit of turkey on actual Thanksgiving, and the only reason I ate any was because I felt like it was obligatory at Thanksgiving to eat turkey. 

Luckily, I have awesome friends/roommates who helped me with all of the above nastiness.

Jessica and the turkey

Me and the turkey

Jessica and I with our Turkey

The dinner ended up alright in the end.  But it was quite the relief to have it over and done with.  Afterward, Ryan and I agreed to never do anything like it again.  (We've partially kept that agreement.  The dinner we did this month was not nearly as stressful.)

Me showing how happy I was it was over! (And Kate doing dishes in the background.)

Kate with her prize (aka the belt)

Also, Kate won the pie making contest.  She deserved to win some sort of prize for helping Ryan and I out so much anyway.  The funny thing is she never actually tried the pie.  Apparently it was good though.

P.S. I have decided that I am never cooking a turkey again.  So my husband better love to cook!