Daddy

Last week my dad came down to take me out to lunch. He had the week off and since we didn't get to spend a lot of time together during Thanksgiving break, he thought it would be fun. We went to Cafe Rio and talked for a couple hours. After my dad left, I went to my room and just started crying as I said a prayer of gratitude to my Heavenly Father for giving me such an amazing Earthly Father.

 

My dad has always been one of my heroes.  And with good reason.  He is truly an incredible person.  I have wanted to figure out a way to fully express how much I love him in words, but I never seem to convey exactly what I want. Until then, here are some of the things I love most about him.

He has always been willing to sacrifice anything for his kids and their families. Most of my childhood he woke up at four in the morning to go to work so that he could be on the sidelines cheering his kids on at soccer games.

He is pro at filling up the gas tank and washing the windows. Oh, and backing the car too. I always say that someday I will be as good as him but, let's face it, that will never happen. He loves working in the yard and takes great comfort in knowing it looks good. He can be quite the perfectionist when it comes to mowing the lawn.

He calls me Cutie. And Bosina (although that one is much less endearing).

He taught me to work hard and to always do my best. I remember my dad telling me over and over again that it didn't matter how good I was at something, just as long as I was trying my hardest.

I love that when I wake up at home I wake up to the sound of my dad playing with and making Max laugh as he chases him down the hall. Or the tickling the girls until they are screaming with delight.  I love watching and listening to my dad interact with his grandkids.  I tell him all the time that he has a gift.  Especially with his boys.  Man, those boys love their grandpa.  

I don't have a car, so I often feel kind of guilty when I go home and my dad has to bring me back down to Provo.  But, at the same time, the selfish part of me loves that I get to spend a little extra time with my dad, just the two of us.  Even if it does make me miss home a little bit more when I get out of the car and walk back into my apartment.  

I love his hands. They are calloused and often have scratches or scars. To me, the are proof of the dedication he has to hard work.

He is shy and reserved, but is always the one to go out of his way to talk to everyone at family things. I feel a great sense of pride when I see him go around and make sure that everyone feels involved and loved. To go along with this, I know he will do anything in his power for any of his brothers or their families. It has been an amazing experience for me to watch my dad and his brothers look out for one another, despite their differences. They are great examples.

When he gets new clothes, which is only when my mom insists he needs them, he likes to keep the tags on when he wears them because it drives my mom nuts. He loves to pull his pajama or sweat bottoms up super high so he looks like a total nerd. He loves NCIS and Phineas and Ferb. He also loves "The Princess Bride" and "Legally Blonde". Deep down, I also think he likes "Gilmore Girls" because we made him watch it with us so many times.

He is a rock. He is always there to provide love and support without judgement. This, I think, he got from his mother. Sometimes I wish he would just tell me what to do, but he trusts me to make my own decisions. When he really needs to be though, he is the voice of reason. When I was trying to decide where to go to college, he asked me where I wanted to go. I told him I wanted to go to BYU and he matter-of-factly said, "Go there then." I started protesting and saying that logically made more sense to go to USU. It was one of the only times I've ever seen him truly exasperated as he told me that he didn't care if it made more sense. He told me he loved me but that sometimes I needed to let my heart have more of a say than my head. He knows me so well.

He is humble. I honestly do not think I have ever met anyone as hard working or caring as him. But if you ever told him that, he would deny it.

I got to go on two road trips with him this summer. I loved getting to talk to him and just be with him. He isn't as much of a talker as I am (shocking, I know), but I will forever be grateful for the extra time I got to spend with him this summer. He was so willing to just go with the flow and do whatever everyone else wanted.

He loves for people to think he is scary or to be intimidated by him. But the truth is, he is the world's biggest softy. I can't look at my dad any time I sing because he starts crying right away and then I can't make it through the song. He has a sensitive heart and spirit that makes him prone to feel things very deeply, a trait he seems to have passed on to a few of his children.

He honors his priesthood and is always willing to give me a blessing. He has also set a good example for all of my brothers and helped them to become amazing priesthood holders as well.

He loves my mom SO much. I love that my parents have always shown affection for each other. My dad respects my mom so much and has taught all of us how we should treat her.

He has a strong testimony of the gospel and is always trying to make it stronger. He is always reading some scripture guide or discourses of a prophet. Because of this, he knows a lot about the scriptures and is always willing to answer my questions. He tries to keep learning all that he can and strengthens his family in the process as he always taught us what is right.

He believes in me and is proud of me. It might sound silly, but this one is especially important to me. I second guess myself all the time. I am afraid of trying to achieve my goals because I am afraid I won't make it. But he has never doubted that I'll achieve my goals. Often when I tell people I want to go to graduate school, they make it clear they think that will never happen, for whatever reason. Not my dad though. Instead, he has taken to often asking me if I have any ideas of where I want to go. If he has any doubts, he doesn't show it.

There is one experience I will never forget. My dad was driving me back to Provo from Centerville the summer after my first year of college. We were stopped at a gas station and my dad was filling up the tank and washing the windows. As I sat there, I got tears in my eyes as I realized something. My first year of college I was exposed to so many things and places that I thought I wanted to experience. And I thought I wanted to marry someone who felt the same way. Yet, in that moment, I decided I didn't need someone who wanted to travel the world or go on lots of exciting adventures.  What I needed was someone steady and hard working, just like my dad.  Someone who will love me for all my faults, as my dad loves my mom.  Someone who will always put our family and the gospel first in life.  Someone giving and kind, who knows what people need and tries his hardest to provide that for everyone around him.

So yes, despite the fact that I am 20 years old, I call my dad Daddy. Because no matter how old I get, he will always be my Daddy. And I am grateful for that every day of my life.

Sam's Wedding

This past weekend, Alicia, Peter, Kate, Ryan, and I went down to Arizona for this beautiful girl's wedding:

Sammy!

Sammy is one of the cutest, sweetest, and all around best people I have ever met. It was the first time I got to see her since she left on her mission almost two years ago, so I was so happy to get to be part of her amazing day! She looked so gorgeous and was so happy and giggly! I didn't really get much of a chance to interact with Nathanael, but he seems amazing. And he must be because Sam would never marry anyone who wasn't. 

Sam and Nathanael

We stayed the night in Provo Thursday night and started out early Friday morning. It is a fairly long drive, but it was actually really fun. We brought "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" CDs to listen to, but the whole way down we only got through 1 1/2 CDs because we had too much to discuss. And I'm pretty sure we covered the full range of possible topics. Once we got to Glendale, we stopped at Shannon's house for dinner and to catch up. Then we girls went to Sammy's bachelorette party while Ryan took Peter to the Instacare. (Side story: Peter is never sick and had never been to Instacare before this trip. He was super nervous, which sort of made me laugh. He's a funny sick person.) The party was fun, but mostly because it was great to get to see and talk to Sammy. I forgot how much I love that girl!

We slept at Sam's Grandma's house and woke up fairly early the next morning to go over to Sam's to get ready. When we got back to pick up the boys, we discovered Alicia hadn't brought Peter any church pants. Luckily Sam's Grandma has an eye for such things and knew that a certain guy in her ward was the same size. She totally saved the day on that one! While everyone else was in the sealing, I sat outside and did some homework. The weather was so amazing! I loved it!

Yay! They're married!

So, Ryan was put in charge of the camera, for some odd reason. Therefore, there are a lot of odd pictures of all of us. And me, in particular, because a theme was Ryan acting creepy toward me, me calling him out on it, and Peter informing me I needed a little more creepiness in my life. ...Yep...

Random picture 1

Oh Peeta!

Random Picture 2

We're either eating the flowers or singing into them.

So attractive!

Kate!

Leesh, Shan, Me, and Kate

Random Picture 3. Also, I actually did my own make-up. Amy was so proud!

Taking pictures was highly entertaining, especially when the photographer was having us do serious/seductive faces. Not our specialty. She did ones with everyone and then decided to do close up shots. As she came up to Alicia and I, Alicia said, "Oh no!" which promtly made both of us burst out laughing and tell the photographer she was going to have to start on the other side. Alicia was also disappointed that we hadn't done the "cheering while the couple kiss" picture. But when she imitated what she would do, it looked more like a war cry. (Don't worry, she finally got to do it at the reception). The other great joke that came from pictures was the phrase, "Give the people what they want!"

Right as we finished pictures, Magerin, Kate's ex-boyfriend, walked past on his way to get married. We didn't say anything, but we had a good laugh. Then we went over to eat lunch with both of the families, during which one of Sam's uncles tried to set Shannon up with another one of her uncles. So glad I live in Provo and am only 20.

Since we had about an hour and a half to kill before we needed to be at the reception for pictures, we went back to the place we were staying. Ryan, Kate, and Peter all took a nap for a few minutes. Shannon and I laid down, but just ended up talking and were soon joined by Alicia since she couldn't stand the number of noises in the other room. Even though it was only for a few minutes, laying on that air mattress with my sisters giggling was probably one of my favorite moments of the trip. 

The reception was amazing! Seriously, my mom would have died. There were tons of antiques and a sweet shop. So many little, beautiful touches.

At the reception

Peter and Alicia

Sisters

Story: We decided Ryan was our brother on this trip. So this is our family picture. Also, Ryan is attempting to tickle Shannon and I, which explains our faces.

The AWESOME old car

Love Ryan and Kate!

Little Touches

More Awesome Decorations

By the time the reception actually started, Sam was exhausted and both Alicia and Shannon were starting to get a headache. So Shannon and I ran to the nearest store, Walgreens, and picked up a Red Bull for Sam and a couple of Dr. Peppers for the rest of us. The lady at the register looked at us super weird at first and then tried to make a bunch of lame jokes when we explained we were matching because of a wedding.

Shannon looking tiredly at the Red Bull and Dr. Pepper

Once Sam and Nathanael decided they were done with the line, they cut the cake and did the traditional garder and bouquet toss. The last semi-awkward moment of the day came when Peter realized the girl who caught the bouquet was the first girlfriend he had after his mission. So basically I was the only one who didn't feel awkward that day. Score! 

Probably one of the funnest parts of the night was dancing. Since we didn't know anyone, we had a blast just dancing and making fools of ourselves. And, turns out, Peter is quite the dancer. Who knew? It really was a ton of fun. (Even though Peter got sick again and left about halfway through. Poor guy.) At one point we were basically the only ones dancing, so I'm sure the photographer got a lot of...very attractive pictures of us. 

Right before they left, Sam sang to Nathanael. Normally I would think it was weird, but it was completely cute and Sam was just so beautiful. Afterward, we sent them off with sparklers and then went back to help clean up. Kate was totally blown away at how quickly Sam and Nathanael got away and that the entire reception was pretty much cleaned up by the time we left at about 9:30.

After a quick, but funny stop at the grocery store to pick up food for the way home, we went back to Sam's Grandma's and went to bed. Early the next morning we set back off for home. This time we listened to more of the Harry Potter CDs, which was totally fine with me. Plus, since Peter has never read any of them, he had a lot of questions and I felt super smart that I knew all of the answers.

I loved that I got to see a completely different side to Peter on this trip. The more time I spend with him the more I love him. (You did good, Leesh!). I also loved that I got to spend so much time with some of my very best friends. Until this trip, Alicia and Peter didn't know Ryan very well (and vice verse) and I am glad they got to become such good friends. I love all of them so much, so it means a lot to me that they all know and love each other, too! It was definitely an exhausting weekend, but it was so much fun!

"Your Voice was the Soundtrack of My Summer"

So...I know it is November so it is slightly ridiculous to be posting about summer. But, I've had this post in the works for, I don't know, two months and am finally getting around to finishing it. 

Whenever I think about summer, I think of the song Thunder by Boys Like Girls (and Annie Tanner because that was one of our songs one summer). That's where I got the title of this post.  So, without further ado, some more of the voices that were the soundtrack of my summer 2012:

Call Me Maybe-Carly Rae Jepsen

Everybody Talks-Neon Trees

What Makes You Beautiful-One Direction

On My Way-Boyce Avenue

Set Fire to the Rain-Adele

Somebody That I Used to Know-Gotye

Titanium-David Guetta

Story of Us-Taylor Swift

One Thing-One Direction

Payphone-Maroon 5

We Are Young-Fun

Singing in the Rain-Singing in the Rain

I Won’t Give Up-Jason Mraz

Music of the Night-Phantom of the Opera

It Will Rain-Bruno Mars

I would feel ungrateful if I didn't include the boys of apartment 3 on this list. Cause, let's be honest, their voices were definitely a big part of that soundtrack.

We met the boys of apartment 3 our first weekend in our ward and for the next four months our apartments were close to inseparable (it helped that two of us were dating two of them). Seriously, we did everything together. And there will forever be things that will remind me of them:

The Phantom of the Opera

Mario Kart

The Lord of the Rings

Star Wars

Rock Climbing

iwastesomuchtime.com

Spiders

Spiderman

The Dark Knight Rises

Sprinklers

Rockets

The Manti Pageant

Navy SEALS

Water Polo

Comedy Sportz

Campfire Stories

McDonald's

Protein Shakes

Brazil

Japan

Africa

Taco Tuesday

Double Dutch

Allan and I have a love-hate relationship sometimes. He drives me absolutely insane sometimes and there was a time when I was certain I was one of his least favorite people in the world. Yet, he is one of my favorite people to talk to. We can and have talked about just about everything. He is smart and honest, so it is always interesting to hear his opinions. And I love giving him girl advice. Because obviously I'm an expert. He loves to argue just about everything, I think in part because he loves saying the word, "False." Now anytime I see that word I hear him saying it. He thinks that Katniss and Bella are the same character, which I disagree with, so that has become one of our favorite arguments.We're FHE co-chairs right now and it's been quite the experience. I think he picked me because I am an organization freak, but I'm cool with that as long as he does the talking most of the time. 

 Chris is one of the least dramatic people I've ever met. Nothing is that big of a deal to him. Except for when people say 11 when he asks them something on a scale of 1-10. He always says "100%" when he's sure of something, too. He is extremely hard working and believes that you can accomplish anything if you just work hard enough. He has the amazing ability to make people feel comfortable around him. He is a great friend, especially to his roommates. There is very little he wouldn't do for them. Chris also loves swimming and the sun more than just about anything and has it in his head that it takes skill rather than luck to win rock, paper, scissors. His favorite food is a hamburger, something he ate a lot of this summer as he was trying to gain weight (a completely foreign concept to most people). Oh, and apparently has a great sense of style seeing as his roommates said just a few days ago they wish they had his closet (and his broad shoulders).  

Ethan is one of the kindest and happiest people I have ever met. He also has quite the variety of talents, like improv, magic tricks, singing, dancing, and making movies. He loves talking and helping people. He is honestly one of the most giving people. There is almost nothing he wouldn't do for someone he cares about. He is passionate about everything he does, likes to think deeply, and isn't afraid to express his opinion. Like me, Ethan is a touchy person and loves to hug people. Just being around him brightens my day. He always says that he wishes he was Spiderman so that he could get up from the ground easier. He loves to laugh, which makes everyone around him feel funnier (a great skill to have). I wish everyone could hear him make up a story on the spot because it will change your life.

This picture is just too funny...and very typical of Ethan and Chris

Thanks to these boys, I had a truly amazing summer. We went on a lot of adventures, I tried a lot of new things, and saw a lot of movies for the first time. Thank goodness for these crazy, wonderful boys!

For Now

The past couple of weeks there has been something different in the air. With the lowering of the ages when missionaries can go out, an extremely large number of girls have decided to go on a mission. One of my professors is a bishop and he had 14 pre-mission appointments set up by the Monday morning after Conference alone. That's a lot of girls.

I turn 21 in April, so I had already decided that the biggest question for me during October's General Conference was whether or not I was going to go on a mission.

Notice I said whether or not I was going to go, not whether or not I should go.

I discovered a long time ago that, for the most part, revelation doesn't work with a "should I", at least not for me. In fact, I have never even had God tell me yes or no to a decision I've made. He either stops me or he doesn't. So I knew that this, like everything else, was my decision.

When President Monson announced the new age for missionaries, my first thought was not of myself but of my old roommate, Karen, who is 19 and has said repeatedly that she wished she could just go on her mission now because she wanted to so badly.

My second thought was the interpretation of my first: I didn't want to go on a mission enough to even be excited for myself that I could go in December/January instead of April/May. I was more excited Karen could go than that I could. 

So, my answer to the thousands of queries over the past weeks of whether or not I'm going on a mission have been "It's not currently in my plan." I'm fully aware that I could change my mind tomorrow, a week, month, or even year from now. And that's okay. But for now, I have my answer.

I don't believe that God would say no if I told Him I wanted to go now. But I couldn't in good conscience do that. I'm afraid that at this point, I would choose to go in order to escape and put off big life decisions and changes. And that is not an acceptable reason to go for me. If I go, I want it to be because I really want to, more than anything. As my roommate put it, "It is a lowering of the age limit, but not of the bar." I'm not saying I would be a bad or unworthy missionary. But I know myself well enough to know that if I don't want something with everything I am, I won't work as hard at/for it. And a mission is not something that I would ever want to do halfway, and I wouldn't successful like that anyway.

The Lord needs more missionaries out there, but He also needs the right missionaries out there, at the time He appoints. Perhaps my time will come, or perhaps my calling in life has nothing to do with me serving a full-time mission. Either way, I know that God is in control and will guide me to what is right for me, not anyone else.

***This post is mostly for me and my own need to express my feelings. The past couple weeks have been rough with a lot of people making me feel guilty and like I wasn't a good member of the church because I am not going on a mission right now. So I wrote this to understand what I am actually feeling.***

School

This semester confuses me. I had a few classes I was really looking forward to this semester and, of course, they turned out to be my least favorite. But nothing has been too difficult, so I can't complain. But my writing class is super confusing to me.

My professor is a super nice guy. Really. I truly do like him. He is older and actually pretty funny. But I can't for the life of me figure out what I am supposed to be learning in that class. He has us read a lot of pretty cool reading assignments, but other than exposing us to good writing, I have no idea what the connection is I'm supposed to be making. And his quizzes aren't much help in determining things. We've had three and I haven't missed a question despite the fact that I am at a complete loss of what the class is about, which means the quizzes are super, super easy. Yet, the majority of the class is doing poorly on them, which is absolutely baffling to me.

Tonight, at midnight, our title page and introduction to our 20 page literature review is due. I've been worrying about it for the past week because I am not done with it yet. Today, in class my professor told us though that he is looking more for format than content. What does that mean? Then he added the most unbelievable thing I've heard since I came to college: if we don't have all of the research done yet, we should just put in fake citations and replace them once we get the research to show him we know how to cite things.

What?

Did my college professor seriously just tell me it was okay to make up references and put them in my paper?

Yep, he sure did.

Apparently I had no reason to be worrying about this assignment because I have been overachieving by having actual references for my claims. So naturally I have about zero motivation to work on finishing it. Weirdest class ever.

P.S. I took my first call for research today and was terrified the whole time that I was going to say or do something that would compromise the project. In fact, I'm still not sure I did everything right. Ah well. Live and learn, right? 

Families

I've been reading in Ether for the past couple of weeks.  I've read it through multiple times and have to admit, most of the time it is not my favorite book.  Once you're done with the cool Brother of Jared story, there is a lot about wars and destruction which is, quite frankly, a little gruesome.  This time though, I discovered something that I'd never thought of before now.

Starting in chapter seven and going through the rest of the book there is story after story of the people dividing and one half taking over, then the other half rebelling and taking over.  It's a common story and theme throughout history.  What I hadn't picked up on before was who was doing the conquering and rebelling.  The majority of the time, it was a brother, son, uncle, or nephew of the king who lead the rebellion against that king.  Unlike countless stories in antiquity, such as the conquests of Alexander the Great, the destruction of this people did not come from some outside, foreign nation.  The destruction came from the dissolution of family ties.

Since 1997 when the First Presidency came out with "The Family: A Proclamation to the World", the Church has been continuously placing emphasis on the importance of keeping the family together.  Soon after that, the line "strengthen home and family" was added to the young women theme as a blessing that comes from cultivating the values outlined in the theme. Despite the fact that I have heard time and time again the importance of keeping the family unit together, I don't think I understood it until now.

My family has recently revived a tradition we had with my dad and his brothers in an attempt to keep our family together. Under the motto: "They Did Not Doubt", we have instituted a monthly family home evening with all of our extended family.

I was called at the beginning of the semester to be co-coordinator of the Family Home Evening groups in my ward here in Provo. As I have become more and more involved with it and gained more of a testimony of FHE I feel I have come to a greater understanding of the importance of families.

The combination of all of these things right now has also provided me with inspiration that I had been long in seeking. Now I think I can see how I can prevent the dissolution of not just my own family, but many others and thus, help prevent the horrific events that occurred in Ether. Finally, I have a plan. And I can hardly wait to get started on it.

Success

I went home this weekend so that I could go and see Alicia's primary program, even though she didn't believe me when I said that was the reason I came home.

I've been to a lot of primary programs in my time.  They're always cute and fun.  But never before have I been touched in the way I was today.  The difference was that Alicia had the kids write their own parts.  Sure she gave them a topic or a sentence to finish, but the kids decided what to say.  So for the first time, it actually sounded like something they would say.

It was beautiful to hear the simplicity of understanding of the sunbeams alongside the experienced testimonies of the oldest kids, with every other level of knowledge and understanding in between.  It was pure, honest, and completely not contrived.

I seriously had tears in my eyes almost the entire time (and only a couple times because I was laughing so hard).  I am just so grateful that can be understood on so many different levels.  There is always more to learn, but knowledge of everything is required right now.  Sometimes all you need to know is that sharing your toys with your cousins is choosing the right and will make your mom happy.

So Leesh, if you had any doubts if you were inspired, you definitely were.  Even if no one else was moved (which I know isn't the case), I was.  It was beautiful and a complete success!  You're amazing and I love you, Alicia!

Things to Remember

“While happiness itself is sought for its own sake, every other goal—health, beauty, money, or power—is valued only because we expect that it will make us happy.” (pg. 1)

“…happiness is not something that happens.  It is not the result of good fortune or random chance.  It is not something that money can buy or power command.  It does not depend on outside events, but, rather, on how we interpret them.  Happiness, in fact, is a condition that must be prepared for, cultivated, and defended privately by each person.  People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives…” (pg. 2)

“…we cannot reach happiness by consciously searching for it…it is by being fully involved with every detail of our lives, whether good or bad, that we find happiness, not by trying to look for it directly.” (pg. 2)

“…the best moments in our lives, are not that passive, receptive, relaxing times—although such experiences can also be enjoyable, if we have worked hard to attain them.  The best moments usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.  Optimal experience is thus something we make happen.” (pg. 3)

“…optimal experience depends on the ability to control what happens in consciousness moment by moment, each person has to achieve it on the basis of his own individual efforts and creativity.” (pg. 5)

These all came from my reading yesterday.  It felt a little like a smack in the face.  But a good one.  Suddenly everything was put in much better perspective!

(All quotes come from Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi)

Obsessed

Okay, lately I've been absolutely obsessed with Boyce Avenue.  If you've never listened to them, you should.  They are amazing.  All their covers are good, but so are their originals.  Lately I've particularly loved this song:

Love it!  It also is one of the only things getting me through this first week of school!  (This and the anticipation of the BYU game tomorrow night!)

Moving Out, Moving On

I moved Thursday.  I spent about 8 hours packing and cleaning with Haley, so I didn't have much time to think, but as I was driving away I was hit with all the emotions that accompany moving for me.  Excitement at a new beginning and for a little structure.  Sadness that I won't be with those awesome girls as much anymore.  Happiness at all the memories we made this summer.  Disbelief at how many things can change in a single moment.

This summer has been amazing.  I didn't go into it all that excited.  Last summer, the best parts about being in Provo were school, Kate, Jessica, and Anne.  Overall, it just wasn't a good experience.  But this summer was light years different.  I feel like I've had so many experiences that have changed my life.  I've learned so much about myself, my priorities, and my relationships with people.  And I'm sad to be leaving this stage of my life, even if it only lasted a few months.

 By Keyla Rodriguez

Haley and I have become good friends this summer and I'm so grateful for that.  It truly has been one of the greatest honors of my life to have lived with 3 of the Beckstrand girls, and Haley is definitely no exception despite the fact that we lived together the shortest period of time.  She has helped me through everything this summer.  Somehow she seemed to intuitively know how I was feeling and what I needed, a gift that she applies to all of her friends.  And her honesty in expressing her feelings is inspiring to me.  She's strong willed and so loyal to her friends it is almost ridiculous sometimes.   

By Ti Leaf Photography

Karen brought so much fun and laughter into the summer.  She works so hard, but plays even harder.  She was always willing to be there for any of us when we needed it, even going so far as to offer to beat up by ex-boyfriend and help turn me into a lesbian if that was what I needed to help me feel better. (Don't worry, I didn't take her up on either offer).  Some of the best moments this summer though have been the late, late night talks in which tears were the prominent thing, not laughter.  She's an incredible person with an optimism that can't be beat.  And the adventures she and Anne planned for us were just what we needed.

By Ti Leaf Photography

Anne has been the most influential in helping me discover myself this summer.  The nights we laid in bed bearing our souls and asking each other thought provoking questions are ones that have truly changed my life.  She knows me better than almost anyone and knows how to make me laugh, smile, and cry.  She's incredibly smart and hard working and has pushed me to be better everyday.  She's also taught me that I have to take risks in life to get what I want.  Anne never put me in a box; she let me define myself and redefine myself everyday.  And in doing so I came to know and understand myself. 

This summer was a once-in-a-lifetime summer.  Somewhere between the roommate dinners, trips to the pool, random adventures, sleepovers in the living room, late night talks, and countless movies these girls became some of my best friends.  Thank you girls for being so amazing!  This was a summer I will never forget.

AKKK Night

Since I am in Centerville on and off for the next couple weeks, I decided it was the perfect time to get together with three of my favorite girls for a reunion.

Allie, Kelsey, Me, and Kira

Growing up, Kelsey, Kira, and I formed the "Triple 'K' Club", with Allie as a member when she was visiting or living with her grandparents (and no, at the time we didn't recognize the bad association our club's name had).  When we were really little, we didn't all get along very well.  Actually, we basically didn't get along at all.  But years of being together for everything in our ward bonded us together in a way that nothing can break.

It was great to get together with these girls because we haven't really had the chance to do something like this since I left for school two years ago.  Since then Allie has lived in Europe for a year, Kira has been married for over a year, and Kelsey got married in June.  Everything has changed so much, and yet, in some ways everything was exactly the same.

We went to this yummy, authentic Italian Pizza and Gelato place in Salt Lake.  The food was so good.  And the conversation was delightful.  We talked about pretty much everything possible.  It reminded me why I love being a girl and having girlfriends so much, especially when they offered to beat up a guy for me before they even knew his name or what he had done.  That's just what friendship is.  

It's interesting to look back on friendships and see how much everything changes.  At one point Allie pointed out that a few years ago if we had overheard a group of girls discussing recipes we would have thought it was so lame, yet, that was a major topic of conversation.  We've all grown up and changed so much, but we know each other so well that we don't have to explain, justify, or really even adjust to those changes.  They just happen.  And lately I've really come to appreciate just how amazing it is to have people in your life that you don't have to explain yourself to.  People who just know you for who you are, no matter how much time has passed or who you have become.

I love these girls with all my heart!  A girls' night reunion of AKKK was just what I needed!

Old Friends

Last night I went and visited my friend Hayden's family.  I don't think I had seen them since Hayden left on his mission over a year ago!  Oops!  Far, far too long.  I love them so much!

When I got there the first thing Kara did was ask me if I was coming over to tell them I was engaged.  Definitely not.  I guess Chris was the one who thought of it, so when he got home I told him not to worry.  And he said on the way home he had been reconciling himself to the fact that I might have a boy with me and was practicing his happy face.  So funny!

I met Hayden in Mrs. Carlson's class in second grade.  He was the little chubby boy who stuck his tongue out when he colored (which I am pretty sure he still does).  And we've been friends ever since, with a brief break during third grade because we were in different classes (was it just me or was it a way bigger deal when you are young what class you're in?).  

Hayden is amazing.  He's extremely smart and can do anything he sets his mind to.  He learned to play the trumpet, guitar, ukulele, harmonica, and lacrosse just because he wanted to.  He's super loud, but in an endearing way.  He is friends with so many people because of it.  He was the kid in high school that somehow managed to have friends in every friend group and bridge the gap because he was so awesome and he just genuinely liked people.  The fact that you can get him to do almost anything (like eat enormous bugs) if you get enough people to chant his name helps with that too. 

He has always had an unshakable faith that God has a plan for his life and that everything happens exactly the way it is supposed to.  Despite some struggles he had understanding counsel he was given sometimes, he always followed in anyway.  He did what was right simply because he was asked to.  Hayden's pretty sensitive, but that makes him the best friend you could possibly know.  He is also one of the only guy friends of mine that always has my back when it comes to dating.  He has an uncanny ability to see through the guys I like and is always right in his assessment.  It makes my life a lot easier.

He's on his mission in Australia right now and is having the time of his life.  Every letter is filled funny stories, but is not without all the miracles the experience has to offer.  I can't believe he's been gone so long.  It seems like just yesterday that he left.  It is amazing to see him develop into the man I knew he could be without him losing himself even a little bit.

Zoe, Hayden, and Sawyer

I'm so grateful to Hayden's family too that they always make me feel so welcome and loved in their home.  They are such good people without trying to hide their flaws.  They love their kids so much and have done such a good job raising them.  I'm so glad to be an honorary member of their family!  Next time I will have to visit them before it has been over a year!

Idaho, Washington, and Montana

I got to spend all last week with Derrick and my Mom and Dad as we traveled all over Idaho, Washington, and Montana.  What started out as a trip to California to visit our cousins there quickly turned into a trip to visit some of the places in Derrick's mission, Glacier National Park, and rafting down the Salmon River.

In all, I calculated we spent over 35 hours in the car in the course of 8 days; needless to say, we all got pretty sick of driving.  But, it was still really fun.

We took lots of pictures to document it, so that is what I'm going to do.  Really, I just want to be able to remember everything.

Friday:  We started out in the afternoon and drove to Mountain Home, Idaho to stay the night with my mom's roommate from college, Debbie, and her husband Terry.  When we got there, they had DVRed the Opening Ceremonies for the Olympics, so we watched the Parade of Nations and the lighting of the torch before we went to bed.

Mom and Debbie

Saturday:  When we woke up Debbie fed us breakfast and, after Derrick and I insisted on a picture of my mom and Debbie, hit the road for Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.  About seven hours later, we got to Coeur d'Alene and went straight to the Normington's house.  The Normington's are a family Derrick spent a lot of time with while on his mission and he definitely holds a special place in their hearts.  They seriously love him!  We had dinner with them and a few other families from that ward Derrick knew well.  After dinner we checked into our hotel and then walked around the city for a while.  It is seriously SO beautiful.  We went by the awesome park, walked on the freestanding dock, and saw some of the night life with the party going on at the resort and lots of people walking along the city's main shopping and bar area.

Coeur d'Alene Lake at Night

Tangled Lanterns

Part of the Dock

Sunday: My parents and I slept in and watched the Olympics while Derrick went to the Sacrament Meeting of one of the wards he served in.  Then we went with him to another one of the wards he served in after driving around and looking at some of the cool little old neighborhoods and seeing where he lived for 10 1/2 months.  The Sacrament Meeting was quite entertaining as the speakers were both about 85 years old and super funny.  He basically read word for word a talk by a GA and she spent a good 5 minutes rambling into the microphone while trying to find the place on her talk where she was supposed to start.  Hilarious!  After church we drove to Kalispell, Montana where we stayed the next couple days since it was only about 30 minutes from the entrance to Glacier National Park.

Glacier National Park Day 1

Monday: We woke up early and drove into GNP.  After a few false starts, we found a trail head my mom wanted to go on and we started off.

Derrick in the hotel parking lot

Mom and Dad at the trailhead

Derrick and I at the trailhead

There was this cute little family in front of us who were living in El Salvador while he worked at the embassy.  We hit it off with them right off because they saw my dad and my's BYU shirts and the parents had met at BYU.  Derrick and I kept wanting to go off the trail and explore a little, but the family started following us a few times, so we had to keep it to a minimum while they were around.

Me standing by the lake on the off trail excursion the family followed us on

Once we hit the bridge, we took a different path than the family did though so we had fun going on little adventures.  Derrick and I were ahead of our parents, so we were surprised when our parents followed us when we kept going off the trail.  It was fun though!

Falls at the Bridge

Dad, Mom, and I on the bridge

Derrick, Dad, and Mom on the bridge

Mom getting to the stream part

Dad and Mom at the stream

Me

Derrick imitating a photo of me

Me being a gymnast on a log

Derrick being a gymnast on a log

We practiced being gymnasts a lot...too bad you can't see the log we're standing on!

I wish our eyes weren't closed, but this was another one of our off trail adventures

 Once we finished with that trail, my mom suggested we drive to another one by going along the "Going-to-the-Sun Road", aka road of death.  Okay, maybe that is a little dramatic.  But I was definitely freaked out the first time we went along it.  It is right next to the edge of the cliff with only a small rock wall as a barrier, is super narrow, quite steep, and currently under construction, which made it a lot longer of a trip than necessary.  I was freaking out the first time, but even I have to admit the view was incredible.

View at the top of the loop

View of the road

The line on the mountain is the road

View from the road

When we finally made it down the other side of the mountain, we decided to take the trail to St. Mary's Falls.  These were absolutely gorgeous! 

St. Mary's Falls

Hiding under a fallen tree

The family

Dad looks so happy in these pictures!

We hiked a little longer and found another set of falls, although we don't know what they were named.  Here Derrick and I set quite the bad trend by going off the trail a lot more than the park people would like I'm sure.  Especially as seeing us do it gave a lot of other people confidence to do the same thing.  Oops!  It was fun though.  

 We were all tired after we got back to the car, so we drove back along the stupid cliff road and got back to our hotel where we promptly got in the hot tub for a few minutes before dinner, the Olympics, and bed at about 8:30pm.  What can I say?  We were super tired!