Thursday, June 28, 2012

Life is Good

And I'm just happy.

A couple weeks ago I was writing letters to a couple friends on missions and realized just how great my life is right now.  And just how happy I am.  As far as I can tell, my happiness is pretty obvious, too.

I ran into Courtney on campus the other day and while talking to her she pointed out more than once how happy I seem.  And I am.  I'm just happy.

School is over and I did well Spring term.  I'm starting to actually make some progress on the research projects I'm working on.  And life is full of so many fun things and people.

In the past couple weeks, we've gone camping, to the Manti Pageant, rock climbing (yes, I went rock climbing and my knees only hate me a little bit the day after), to a rope swing, down a natural waterslide, shopping, swinging, chalking, cherry picking, to the pool countless times, eaten lots of yummy food, stayed up super late, gone on late night treat and slurpee runs, watched TONS of movies (I even saw the first Lord of the Rings for the first time, the next installment coming soon), and laughed a lot.  I'm even starting to get a little tan.  Not actual tan, just tan for me.  
Karen and I barricading Haley in the bathroom

Haley, Anne, and Karen camping


Our apartment door, courtesy of Ethan and Chris


Something yummy I can't pronounce

Karen's Eggrolls
Just us

Typical Sunday
Karen's Big Dandelion


Alpine Rock Slide

Rock Slide Group
Shopping at Called to Surf at the Riverwoods

Manti Temple
Me

Haley

Cherries


Anne

Ryan

Haley

Me

All the cherries
 I wish I could explain it, but there really is no way to describe it.  So I guess I'll just have to leave it at that.


Thursday, June 14, 2012

"My name does not rhyme with Banana!"

This beautiful girl is Shannon:

Or as we like to call her, Shannon Bananan (partially because it annoys her that everyone seems to think her name rhymes with "banana.").

Now that I'm done with finals, I can do her birthday post!  (Sorry I'm a few days late, Shanny!)

I'm not really even sure where to start.  Shannon's just awesome!  I'm in more of a list mood than a novel-long-paragraphs mood today, so in honor of her 26th birthday, I'll write 26 of my most favorite things about Shannon (in no particular order)!

1.  She taught me how to read.  Okay, okay, I already knew how to read.  But she taught be how to read out loud and be confident in it.  She made me read the scriptures to her every night when we shared a room growing up.  I think we both hated it at first because I was such a slow reader, but she never gave up and made me keep going.  So yes, I am going to claim the position as the first of many children that Shannon has taught to read.

2.  She hugs me even though she doesn't really like hugs.  It doesn't happen all the time, but when she knows I need it or it is important to me, she is willing to hug me.  And she doesn't even try to pull back super fast...most of the time.

3.  She is an extraordinary teacher.  She loves her job and her students so much.  She is always willing to go above and beyond the call of duty to help to make the lives of the ones she teaches better.  This past year was exhausting for her, but she never gave up on her students and they have all come such a long way.

4.  She is super in tune with the spirit.  I would never have met the people I've met or done some of the things I've done without that.  It makes life hard for her at times, but she always does what she knows is right.

5.  Her dimple.  It's so great.  I especially love it when she gets all bashful and looks down while her dimple tells you just how pleased she is.

6.  The fact that she still thinks so many things are gross.  Like little (and often times not so little) boys.  And sometimes little girls (who shall remain nameless).  Some of the best stories come from the confusion caused when she refuses to say gross words.  

7.  She has rhythm but is not a dancer.  One of my all-time favorite videos of Shannon is one from the year before I came to Provo and all of them are dancing to a rap song and trying to be gangster.  Sorry, Shan, but you are no gangster!

8.  She has a beautiful voice.  She always has.  And she is the one who inspired both Leesh and I to sing, for which I will be forever grateful.

9.  She works super hard.  She basically worked two jobs the entire time we lived together in Provo and still managed to always get things done.

10.  She laughs with me, even if what happened isn't funny.  She always makes fun of me for my inability to tell stories when I'm laughing.  I swear it happens ten times as often when I'm around her than anyone else.

11.  She shakes uncontrollably when she laughs.  Even if you can't hear her laughing, you can always feel it.

12.  She has always been my friend, not just my sister.  Even in high school when it is way cooler to hang out with just your friends, Shannon included me a lot.  She has been there for me in a way that no one else was in college too, because she knew me so well that she didn't even have to ask to know what was wrong. 

13.  She has had some bad past boyfriends.  It sounds weird that I like that, but it has provided me with many learning experiences.  And lots of fun plotting what we could do to the poor unfortunate souls who didn't treat her right.

14.  She tends to date attractive boys with ugly names.  It's just funny.

15. I love the summer before she left on her mission.  Us three sisters spent SO much time together that summer.  We made so many great memories tending the twins, eating scones and fries at Dairy Queen, going to rehearsal, and staying up late talking and laughing for hours.

16.  She loves missions and missionaries.  You will never find a better ally or better advice for a mission than her.

17.  She's a sucker for little kids.  She just loves playing with them and is WAY more patient with them than the rest of us.  Needless to say, she picked the right career.

18.  She's very intelligent.  She also uses the most proper and uncommon words of anyone I know without sounding pretentious.   

19.  She loves to talk.  I love our phone chats, even if they are infrequent at times because of our busy lives.

20.  She gets shocked every time goes to Wal-mart (and yes, I was writing this while talking to you on the phone, Shan!).

21.  She's delightful to go on road trips with.  And she gets really giddy about half-way through.

22.  She's willing to be goofy with the rest of us when we need her to be, even though most of the time she is WAY too mature for our antics. 

23.  Whenever we sleep in the same room, neither of us can fall asleep without saying "Night Joy, I love you!" and "Night Shanny, I love you!"  It's our ritual.

24.  Most of the time she can't last sleeping in the same bed with anyone else.  Okay, mostly just me and Alicia.  Although, she has gotten significantly better at it the last year or so. 

25.  She is stubborn.  Super-duper stubborn.  I love that no one can push her around.  And that she'll defend her position no matter who or what comes against her. 

26.  She's my big sister.  And she's everything to me that a big sister should be.  She understands, is supportive, and is super loyal.  When I came home and told Shannon I was going to have surgery on my knees, she hugged me and told me how happy she was for me.  Everyone else would think that was weird, but she knew that was exactly what I needed and that really, it was a good thing.  I don't know why, but that is one "sisterly" moment that I will always love and never forget.


Happy Belated Birthday, Shanny!  I love you more than you know!



Sunday, June 3, 2012

Astonishing

I sang this song at my senior recital two years ago.  I've had incredible experiences with music before, but nothing quite like this.


As I sang the words, I realized just how much I related to Jo.  I felt as though I was drowning in all of the changes occurring: I was graduating, Alicia was getting married, my friends were going on missions and to different colleges.  Everything I knew was falling apart.  I felt lost and terrified that I wouldn't be able to adjust and succeed in this new life.
 
And I need,
How I need my sisters here
If I can't share my dreams
What were they for?

I thought our promise

That we would never change and never part.
I thought together,
We'd amaze the world.
How can I live my dreams or even start when everything has come apart.


My sisters were my best friends.  The summers that we spent together constantly were some of the best of my life and I knew that those times would never happen again.  Sure we'd see each other, but the sisterhood felt was not something that could be recreated.  It had its time and place.  But that was not now.  Now was the time for change and growth.  And it scared me.

I thought home was all I'd ever want
My attic all I'd ever need.
Now nothing feels the way it was before
And I don't know how to proceed.
I only know I'm meant for something more
I've got to know if I can be
Astonishing

I'd been to Provo a thousand times.  Moving there was different though.  It was no vacation or fun day trip.  It was hard, complicated, real life.  It would have been easier if I had known from the beginning that it was right, that Provo was where God wanted me to be.  But really it was nothing but a gigantic leap of faith, with my heart leading my head.  For someone who prides herself on a dominant mind, I think following my heart was the most terrifying part.

There's a life
That I am meant to lead
A life like nothing I have known
I can feel it
And it's far from here
I've got to find it on my own

Even now I feel it's heat upon my skin.

A life of passion that pulls me from within,
A life that I am aching to begin.
There must be somewhere I can be
Astonishing
Astonishing

But there was a reason for all of the changes.  I needed new opportunities to grow and prove, to myself and everyone else, that I was capable of great things.  I needed to work on not being so afraid of finding out that I can be great.  I'm still working on that, but it's getting better everyday.  I know that somewhere, someway, I will find my place and discover what God has given me the potential to accomplish.  Someday, I will become Astonishing, in my own way.

I'll find my way
I'll find it far away
I'll find it in unexpected and unknown
I'll find my life in my own way
Today

Here I go

And there's no turning back
My great adventure has begun
I may be small
But I've got giant plans
To shine as greatly as the sun

I will blaze until I find my time and place

I will be fearless,
Surrendering modesty and grace
I will not disappear without a trace
I'll shout and start a riot
Be anything but quiet
Christopher Columbus
I'll be Astonishing
Astonishing
Astonishing

At Last

 
This weekend at Kate and Ryan's luncheon, Gary said something that I've been thinking a lot about.  He said that Kate wasn't just working toward becoming Astonishing, but that she already was.  That the moments that help us to become Astonishing most of the time are not singular, defining moments.  It is the little, continuous, daily moments that truly make us Astonishing.  We don't need to be Astonishing to everyone, just to one person, in order to succeed.  Being Astonishing has nothing to do with world recognition.  It's about love and being there for others.  It's about recognizing our own potential and rising to not only meet it, but attempt to rise above our wildest imaginations.

I have dreams, big ones.  But it will not be the fulfillment of those dreams that will help me to become Astonishing.  I am meant for something more, as the song says.  Something more than I am now.  Something more than I can imagine myself to ever be.  Something more than I even have capacity to hope for. 

And someday, I will be Astonishing...

At Last!

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Wonderful Day

Well, yesterday was the long awaited day:  Kate and Ryan's wedding day!

They were sealed in the Bountiful Temple at 10:20 and I started tearing up the second they walked out of the temple.  Kate looked absolutely gorgeous in her dress and I've never seen either of them look so happy.  I really started to cry while I hugged Ryan.  We hugged for a long time and he told me how much he wished I could have been there for the ceremony.  I felt exactly the same way.  There is nothing I wish more than that I could have been there.  I've had a few siblings get married, but never have I felt more sad that I had missed such an important event, partly because I'm actually at an age that it would have been possible for me to be there.  Then I got to hug Kate for a long time too, my crying setting off her crying.  After, I moved out of the way so that other people could congratulate them, since I had sort of jumped in there right off.
My best friend is beautiful!

Pictures went super fast thanks to their efficient photographer.  Alicia, Shannon, and I all got to be her bridesmaids, along with her sisters Nicole, Jessica, and Haley and Britny was the last one.  Britny was hurrying back from the airport after a long delay in Hawaii, but luckily she was able to make it for at least a few pictures, and the ones that really mattered.  


We loved seeing pictures of little kid chubby Ryan at the luncheon.  The spoof, surprise song the Beckstrands sang was also awesome!  When Nicole, Jessica, and Haley got up to sing "Astonishing", I started crying again. Jennifer explained how the song embodied Kate and everything she has tried to be, the truth of which really hit home as they were singing.  Each of Ryan and Kate's siblings spoke, then Kate's parents and finally Kate and Ryan.  I cried through basically all of the speeches, but Ryan's had me sobbing.  He and Kate didn't break eye contact the entire time he was talking.  If it wasn't for the fact that he was holding a microphone, I don't think either of them would have remembered anyone else was there.  Seeing the love they have for one another and knowing the obstacles they've overcome to get there was beautiful.  It didn't hurt that Ryan has a way with words that very few people possess.

The reception was absolutely Kate.  When she came to hug me before she left, we were talking about how wonderful everything was and Kate said that it was perfect and that everything turned out exactly the way she had dreamed. I'm so glad their day could be everything they'd hoped for.



Outside of my family, there are no two people who have had more of a profound impact on my life.  They've become my family.  I'm so grateful for the constant love, help, support, and friendship they have shown me.  I know that I would not be the same person if it weren't for them and I am so grateful for them!

Congratulations to my two best friends!  Love you!