Graduation

About a year ago, I was packing up my stuff after a Multicultural America lecture. It was just a normal Monday in Dr. Rugh’s class. I don’t remember what the lecture was on that day, although I’m sure it was very enlightening. As I was putting my notebook in my backpack, the thought that popped into my head was this: “I’m in college.” Now, I’m sure you’re all thinking, “This is the girl who just graduated? The one who realized she was in college almost three years after she started BYU?”. Obviously I had noticed before then that I was in college. But for some reason, it hit me anew that day. I think it was the ordinariness of the moment that made it so extraordinary for me. That was the moment that I realized how normal it was for me to be in college. I was no longer that scared freshman who acted like she knew exactly what she was doing but really had no idea. Nor was I the innocent little sophomore afraid of speaking up in class for fear others would notice her and disapprove. No, now I was a junior who not only belonged here, at this university and in that classroom, but I was comfortable here. BYU campus was no longer a dreamland that I was trying to convince everyone, including myself, that I belonged in. This was real life. I was living that dream. 

I’ve had many similar moments since then. I had one the first time an article I worked on was accepted for publication, the first national psychology conference I attended, when I took the GRE, when I finished all of my grad school applications, at the interviews I had for grad school, when I was accepted and committed to go to BYU, and the day I graduated. All of these times have shown me that I am living my dreams.

The funny about these dreams though, is that they are not the dreams I’ve always had. When I was little, I dreamed of becoming a great ballerina, a movie star, and of being on Broadway. If I had kept these dreams my whole life, I would have felt like a failure a hundred times over by now. But the beautiful thing about dreams is how they change as we do. At BYU, I’ve accomplished things that I had never even known to dream about when I was younger. I’ve been overjoyed at getting things that I never knew I wanted.

Since my realization that day in the black hole that is the basement of the JFSB, I’ve tried my hardest to not let myself be surprised by the accomplishment of my goals. Instead, I’ve tried to fully enjoy and celebrate them. That is what graduation was all about. To celebrate the accomplishment of a goal all of us had. No matter what other dreams we have or where we go from here, we have all done something great and of great worth. We have graduated from a difficult, incredible university equipped with the knowledge and skills that, if nothing else, will help us to serve our family, friends, and community more fully. We should never give up on our dreams. But we should never be so focused on the future that we fail to celebrate them either.

Our dreams also help us to become who we are supposed to be. They push us beyond our comfort level. Often times, accomplishing them is flat out scary. However, in trying to accomplish our dreams, we learn new skills that help us to progress. As you change, embrace who you are and use every experience to your advantage. Last Winter, the unthinkable happened to me: I got a C. Admittedly, I had a hard time with this. A lot harder of a time than I let on to most people. However, rather than considering it as a failure on my part to reach the level I had set for myself, I chose to look at it as a triumph. I had learned that it is okay to not be perfect. I had learned to prioritize my classes and accept the results of the efforts I put into each specific one. I learned to bounce back rather than dwelling on it. I learned to accept who I was, not a perfect, straight A student, but a normal, imperfect one.

Above all, to be successful, you have to be yourself. I worked for a couple of years for a professor as his teaching assistant. At the end of the class, the students in the class had to give an oral, group presentation. In discussing these presentations he expressed his frustration with how boring many of them were because so many people think they need to be boring to sound intelligent. He described how frustrating it was to see completely delightful people one-on-one turn into robots in high pressure situations. After he pointed out, I started seeing it all over the place. And, in the end, those who are true to who they are in all situations are more successful. In my many, many freak outs preceding each step of the graduate school application process, the advice to be myself and be confident in myself is something that was reiterated to me by those who are much wiser than myself.

As the one of newest graduates of Brigham Young University, I have a lot to offer the world. The aims of a BYU education state that it is an education that should be Spiritually Strengthening, Intellectually Enlarging, Character Building, and Lead to Lifelong Learning and Service. While I will still be at BYU come September, for now, the first three are set in stone. The last one is entirely up to me.