Music

I've been thinking a lot lately about music. My baseball boys (yes, I call them my baseball boys. . .get over it) have been asking me in study hall everyday what my favorite kind of music is. As of yet, I have not given them a satisfactory answer. So much so that they asked one of my roommates what my favorite kind of music is. I haven't really answered their question for a few reasons. 1) I'm afraid they will play it and I will start singing, which is not something I particularly want to do in front of them. 2) I like lots of different kinds of music. Pretty much as long as they're actually singing I will listen to it. 3) Some of my favorite music comes from musicals, which is not something many people understand. 4) For some reason, that is a deeply personal question for me. I have had more transforming experiences through music than anything else, almost, so it isn't something I'm eager to share with others. I don't want those experiences cheapened for me.

After the Frank Wildhorn concert, Haley and I talked about how much it made us miss singing. Unfortunately it isn't easy to find an outlet for that most of the time. School and work keep us pretty busy. We do occasionally have a night where we just sing for a couple hours (like last Sunday), but those are few and far between. 

This weekend at home, I've sung a lot. Going to the piano and singing is a release for me; it's a refuge from the tempest of life raging around me, demanding my attention and the quashing of my emotions. This weekend my emotions have been everywhere. I go from bawling to laughing hysterically in about 3.2 seconds. But when I'm singing, the roller coaster stops and I find a peace. No matter what it is I'm singing, I feel a balance, which brings me the strength to endure what must be endured. 

Victor Hugo once said,

"Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and cannot remain silent." 

That is what music is for me. The outlet for the words which I cannot speak or write. It is the way my soul communicates what I really feel. Often it is the only way I truly understand what I feel. 

Doctrine and Covenants 25:12 says,

"For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads."

Sometimes the best way to keep a prayer in your heart is to keep a song there. So that's what I plan to do.